"I wanna see…wanna see ‘em dancin’…"
Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
A comic about my parents. The entirety of their relationship is mutual hatred of the human race.
ahhh you’re mom is so great thooo
Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park - 11/30
wmyb→story of my life
Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.
"I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?"